your small business When the menopause doctor becomes the student By Dr. Sharon Stills, NMD 11/13/2017 When I agreed to help lead a wellness retreat for middle-aged women, I had no idea just how much that experience would teach me about menopause. But then, I had a lot to learn. A little background: as a 49-year old naturopathic doctor, I specialize in menopause and women s health issues. And I myself was only 3 months into full post-menopause at the time of the retreat, having been perimenopausal since I was around 44. I show my patients how to ease their transition into life s second act by making good choices when it comes to food and lifestyle. But since those are not usually enough to get women where they want to be, I also share details about hormone balancing and the right vitamin supplementation. I felt like an expert heading into the retreat. I was ready to share my knowledge, advice and expertise, and I did. But remarkably, I found the opportunity to be enlightened myself. The teacher became the student more than once during that weekend. I realized that I am one of them, part of the “gang of women who have entered their wisest and potentially most fulfilling time of life. While I see menopause as a bridge into self-actualization, other women have decidedly different opinions about it. I was shocked when one woman said she thought that being in menopause meant she was starting the dying process. Another woman believed that since she no longer needs her uterus or ovaries to have babies, why not get a hysterectomy when she hits menopause? It s important to understand what menopause is — and isn t Many women admitted that menopause feels like a disease with plenty of symptoms but no cure. Their crushing fatigue and arthritis pain feel permanent and have caused them to give up things they used to love. They wanted (and needed!) more information about perimenopause (the years before menopause), menopause itself (a full year without a period) and what to expect in post-menopause. But I picked up wonderful ideas from the many women who are rocking menopause, seeing it as the best time in their lives. They feel free to do what they please without worrying what society will think of them. They re at peace with who they are, how they look, and are super grateful that their bodies still work. Like me, many feel their bodies changing but know that if they take care of themselves, there s almost nothing they can t do. They re interested in everything and are happy to look back at their lives up till now to find new ways to be kinder, more helpful to others — and happier. Their energy was electric and it charged me with inspiration, anxious to share the positive aspects of menopause with every woman I meet. Teacher or student? We all have a lot to learn and share The women at the retreat opened my mind to the full variety of the menopause experience — both good and bad. I was glad to be able to clear up their misconceptions and educate them about the hormonal impact of menopause. To help them find their own secret sauce for making menopause fantastic is incredibly rewarding. We talked why it s important to discover how to celebrate this time of life by marking the transition with parties, ceremonies and maybe a ritual or two. I told them about how I had honored my own passage into menopause with a long, slow trip up to the summit of Mt. Kilimanjaro. Yes, climbing that huge mountain was exhausting but it was also exciting and exhilarating. It spoke volumes to me about how important it is not to let menopause slow me down or prevent me from making my dreams come true. But here s the thing: your dreams can coexist with the state of your body in menopause. We all must face physical changes that feel limiting and sometimes painful. But we don t have to allow limitations to define how we live our lives in menopause. There is a balance between what you dream of doing and what you can t do. Think of it in running terms. If you ve always wanted to run and complete a marathon but your body has other ideas, you don t have to give up your dream. Instead, you can recraft your running dream into a half-marathon. The thrill you will get and the accomplishment you feel at the finish line will be just as satisfying, and it might even mean more to you going forward. Menopause: the freedom you ve been waiting for all these years Of course, menopause and getting older are not all roses and sunshine. I fret about my red hair turning gray and losing my youthful appearance, and my memory isn t what it used it be. But I love being able to have sex without worrying about getting pregnant. And there is palpable relief at not having to wear sanitary pads or deal with PMS symptoms like weight gain and bloating. In post-menopause, I feel more stable and sure of myself, and much more in tune with my body. My capacity for sharing expands and widens with every woman I meet, and makes me feel like the richest woman on the earth. And I am continually reminded that no matter how much I think I know about this part of life, there is always more to learn. And for me, that has turned out to be the biggest lesson of all. Find inspiration to honor your transition into menopause with the blog Now I know why I climbed Kilimanjaro by Dr. Stills. modern-day
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