all at once Pages: 1 2 All Almost all families seem to have at least one member who has made a career of being unhappy. In their distress, these people accuse, complain, sigh, and make it difficult for others to enjoy the moment. In their misery, it s hard for them to let others be happy. In their loneliness and pain, they seem to do everything possible to stay lonely. With Thanksgiving fast approaching, you re probably dreading the fact that the cousin or aunt or in-law who always casts a pall on holiday get-togethers is going to be at your table again. You re not looking forward to making small talk with someone who can make even the weather seem like a personal tragedy. It s tempting to not invite such folks to family gatherings. It s tempting to stay away yourself. But the bonds of family are such that to do either of those things just doesn t seem right. To give in to these temptations feels like letting the bad stuff in the world win. Let s talk about what you can do instead. Merely Down or Really Depressed? Some people do seem to look at the world through dark, cloud-colored glasses. Unlike the rose-colored kind, these glasses make everything look impossible, disappointing, or hopeless. People who wear them seem like they can t be talked out of what they see or talked into taking them off. People who seem to be wearing them all the time are depressed. It s very important to distinguish between someone who is temporarily down and someone who is suffering from clinical depression . People who are down respond to the concern of family and friends and some common sense cheering up. Clinical depression is a serious mental disorder that needs professional treatment as well as the support of a loving family. Down usually has some ups throughout the day; depression is pervasive and affects the whole day. Down is usually related to a specific event; depression is a cloud that settles over someone s entire life. If you think a relative is clinically depressed, maybe it s time for the family to face it together and to gently speak to that person about getting some professional treatment. Modern medicine, coupled with psychotherapy , usually can help. Related Articles Pages: 1 2 All About Marie Hartwell-Walker, Ed.D. Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. She writes regularly for Psych Central as well as Psych Central's Ask the Therapist feature. She is author of the insightful parenting e-book, Tending the Family Heart . Check out her book, Unlocking the Secrets of Self-Esteem . View all posts by Marie Hartwell-Walker, Ed.D. Hot Topics Today 1 PTSD Patients Show Heightened Sensitivity to Deviant Sounds 2 Developing the Evidence Base for Mindfulness Therapies 3 Dominant Hand May Begin in Womb 4 5 Types of People Who Are Naturally Attracted to Each Other 5 What's a Narcissist's Punishment? Most Popular News PTSD Patients Show Heightened Sensitivity to Deviant Sounds Dominant Hand May Begin in Womb Developing the Evidence Base for Mindfulness Therapies Bipolar or Depression? Heart Test May Help Tell the Difference Avatar Therapy May Ease Schizophrenia Symptoms Join Over 195,000 Subscribers to Our Weekly Newsletter Find a Therapist Enter ZIP or postal code financial institution
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